When to blog? What to blog about? What's on and what's off limits?

I was going to blog about something truly dire, something which appalled me so much that it plumbed the direst depths of direness. But then on reflection I decided that not blogging about it was far better, far better to deny such direness the oxygen of publicity. So what, pray, can have caused me such offence and such soul-searching?

A report on BrandChannel that the so-called Food Liberation Army (a group of activists against all things fast-food and corporate) had 'kidnapped' Ronald McDonald and were holding him hostage subject to receiving satisfactory answers from the fast-food giant. A bit naff you might think but not exactly offensive. Ah but it gets worse, because the whole concept is a viral film showing aforesaid RM with a bunch of hooded captors behind him in the style of a public execution video. Worse than dire.

So instead let me talk about brands. How for a brand to be successful it has to have a truth which matters and a tone of voice which resonates with a target audience.

What do you think is the most popular flavour of Kit Kat in Japan?

Yes, that's right what flavour of Kit Kat? Believe it or not, there have been over 80 flavours created to date including strawberry, green tea, golden peach, custard pudding, grilled corn, sweet potato, jacket baked potato with butter, earl grey tea, camembert cheese and, in a strange nod to my opening rant, caramel macchiato McFlurry.

The secret to the success of the Kit Kat brand in Japan is part marketing and part linguistic coincidence. Kit Kat is very similar to the phrase "kitto katsu", or good luck (Kit Kat literally means "You shall surely win!"). Because of this, Kit Kats have become a small good luck charm.

The other half of the Kit Kat success story has to do with marketing. Capitalising on the Japanese tendency to "Catch ‘em all" varieties of Kit Kats are quickly introduced and then pulled from the market to increase demand.

Oh and the answer to what's the top-selling variety of Kit Kat in Japan? Soy sauce!

Brief, clever and very memorable

One of the many things I enjoy is reading epigrams. Not only are they thought provoking, they’re hugely inspirational and often very funny.

Literary genius Oscar Wilde has delivered some of the best epigrams. Below are a few of my favourites:

"Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future."


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."

"I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train."

"Women are made to be loved not understood."

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation."

"Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance."

Please share any epigrams or even idioms that you enjoy reading.

In the words of Peter Griffin from Family Guy...OMG it's everywhere!

I am all for packaging designers coming up with inventive ways to package our food, but I wonder how much time has actually gone into research and development, even more importantly testing!

Cardboard boxes that have been glued with 'industrial strength' adhesive that ensures you have to destroy the box to get at its contents!!

Boxes with 'kiss' cuts that are barely there, forcing an explosion of cereal bars all over the floor!!!

And as for juice cartons...plastic spouts that have NOT been glued with industrial strength adhesive and fall off if you even so much as look at it. Foil strips that you can't get a hold of, designed to make sure you get your very own orange juice 'fountain' in your kitchen!!!!

To all budding packaging designers out there...

Please, please, please, make sure it works!

Signed

Flabberghasted of Tunbridge Wells

The Unseen Stars

It's not what you think - but I am a fan for one real reason. Dame L.Spence esq may have the wiggle of a camp jellied eel, but it's the atmosphere that is held together by one thing, and one person.

Without this one element, shows like Pineapple and indeed Dancing on Ice, etc etc would fall apart.

For me, the casting of the narrator is fundamental. A kind of yin-yang needs to exist to play up, and in more cases play down what your eyes are actually seeing.

Michael Buerke. Obviously. Obviously? That's the point. Brilliantly flat lining, he brings the show to life by bringing it back to basics. Using an incredibly familiar voice in a place where you would least expect to hear it can work a treat. Dancing on Ice anyone? Tony Gubba. Tony who? Ex football commentator brings exactly his skill set into a positively opposite area of the pitch. Tom Baker. THE Dr Who for me - and who lives in T.W, when not being a Time Lord. Without whom, Little Britain would have been little less than a drag show.

Sometimes more time needs to be spent thinking about how things sound, than just what is put in front of you visually - and sometimes the obvious is totally the wrong way to go.

I am More TH>NFreeman anyone?

Lovely.

Big ideas do exist in the most unlikeliest of places!

So there I was driving was driving over the East Sussex border into West Sussex, gaily whistling my favourite Fairport Convention jig when I passed a small lay-by where several burly lorry drivers and other hot dog fans were crowded around this very greasy burger van, grasping huge meat pieces in one hand and cups of tea or Coke in the other, jovially discussing how lovely their purchased food was.

Then something very strange happened: I noticed the name of the food outlet painted rather clumsily on the top and on the rear of vehicle, but didn't start thinking about it until a few minutes after.

But when the snapshot slowly took form in my brain I suddenly realised I'd seen a very witty, clever and creative brand name. It was:

"Snack wagon and pops"

Perfect for the target audience, perfect descriptor of the product offering, cheeky and appropriate to breakfasts (it was, and still is I think the Rice Krispies strapline).

And what made it more endearing to me, that it was applied with an old paintbrush with no attention to detail what-so-ever. It it just wouldn't be the same it had carefully been produced by a £1k a day London typographer!

Sisters are doing it for themselves


My blog today is in celebration of women who inspire me with their energy passion and creativity.

Becoming a mother, wondrous though it is, throws up a conundrum for those women who have spent their 20s battling their way up the career ladder. It’s hard to go from full on career chick to mother hen. Once you have got to grips with those crazy things called babies you are kind of left thinking what about me? my brain? my ambition? my much depleted bank account? Will I ever own a pair of Manolo Blahniks?

Of course it’s not as simple as popping your babes into your briefcase and hopping back on the rung you left, and actually nor would many of us honestly want to do this. Juggling full time mothering with full time work is no fun. Unless you are lucky enough to be able to work your old career around your children (and you need a major support team to be able to do that) or have a partner who elects to stay at home, what to do?

This is where women get brilliant; unleashing their innate creativity, communication and marvellous mutli-tasking skills for which us womankind are renowned and actually doing the things they really wanted to do in the first place. The result are businesses that are not only successful but also work round their families with awe inspiring aplomb.

I have heaps of examples, but two examples from friends of mine who totally rock my world are my best friend Bianca’s business www.thebespokegiftcompany.co.uk whose stunning products have been reviewed by Fern and Phil on ‘This Morning’ and my friend Claire’s company www.unstuck-thinking.co.uk where she has developed, amongst other things a fusion of dance music and hypnotherapy on the go to help women achieve their life goals and get fit at the same time. It's called 'hypnogogo' and is launching on i-tunes soon.

Please do check them both out

Human Inspiration....

I have become an avid fan of the new BBC One documentary - Human Planet to the extent that Thursday nights are now my night infront of the TV and nothing will persuade me otherwise! I have always loved watching programs about the natural world however I have found myself re-watching these episodes on i-player, perhaps because for a change this series is treating the human race as any other curious species clinging to survival.

In the first episode the jaw dropping scenes of fisherman diving to depths of 40m relying on long plastic tubes hooked to very rickety boats for air in order to catch their food was difficult viewing especially when watching them struggle with the bends. There were awe inspiring scenes in the second episode of the Tubu Tribe ladies trekking across the Sahara Desert with their camels for days in order to reach the market to buy their food. Oh and not forgetting on the way they must find the only well in 80km for water. 'Miss it and they die.' And then heart stopping scenes in the third episode of the Inuit's digging through the ice, waiting for their 30 minute opportunity while the tide was out to go under and pick the mussels on the sea bed, all the while keeping an eye on the tide very quickly reappearing and making sure they were not trapped, had me hiding behind my cushion!

As well as acts of inspirational bravery, there are astonishing stories of adaptation. This series has definitely put into perspective how lucky my life is, within 10 steps I can be at my kitchen tap or water cooler, if I run out of milk I can nip to the corner shop and if I fancy fish for dinner I'll go to the supermarket. Amazing and inspirational human stories from around the globe.