News just in: The world has finally gone mad.

Forgive me having to report this; I have just returned from a short outdoor service to bury Rosemary's fathers ashes in a chosen plot at the cremetorium. Very moving.

There were only eight of us there but I noticed a lady standing behind us who I did not recognise.

I whispered into Rosemary's step mum's ear "Who is that lady there"

She replied "Oh that's a representative from Tunbridge Wells Health and Safety. She's here to stop anyone falling down the hole".

The hole was 1 ft square.